There seems to be many ideas of how to please “your man” in a marriage institution. While psychology may sometime be a good thing to study, I believe that adherence to the word of God in simplicity is where the power of God is triggered. God’s word says the wife ought to honor and revere HER husband in everything (she isn’t obliged to be subject to any ‘man’ BUT her’s) . Consider the scriptures below
But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything…Ephesians 5:25 (NET)
Wives, place yourselves under your husbands’ authority. This is appropriate behavior for the Lord’s people…Colossians 3:18 (GWT)
Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, BUT he will rule over you.”…Genesis 3:16 (NLT)
In the same way, wives, be subject to your own husbands. Then, even if some are disobedient to the word, they will be won over without a word by the way you live…1st Peter 3:1 (NET)
Reading through the scriptures above, it shows God’s mind on the way the wife should respect, honor and be subjected to the husband’s authority. The last scripture actually suggests that through her obedient actions WITHOUT a word, she can win or influence her husband. Please note that NO where in scripture does it imply a shared authority or a wife having authority over her husband. Just as the man is expected to love his wife irrespective of her flaws, so is the wife expected to submit to his leadership irrespective of how foolish or unwise it may seem AS LONG AS it’s not in disobedience to God. A God-centered marriage should reflect the leadership of Christ over his church.
I am aware that in the world today such scriptural inductions seem a bit ancient and contrary to commonly held views of how couples should be in a marriage. However for a child of God, God’s word is clear on the keys of success for a blissful marriage. A man ought not be uncomfortable to lead and a wife ought not be ashamed to be under her husband’s authority. A christian woman should take pride in her ability to follow the leading and directions of her husband. She shouldn’t be proud that she can withstand his decisions, or she can do whatever she wants irrespective of what her husband thinks. While that may be ‘cool’ or accepted in the sight of the world, it is contrary to God’s purpose in marriage.
It doesn’t matter how educated or physically attractive a wife may look, all those cease to count once she becomes a force that constantly resists her husband…consider Proverbs 31:30. Her joy should come from the fact that she is acting on God’s word. Interestingly one of the scriptures above says a wife will desire to control her husband, but she needs to be under his authority. Unfortunately some wives find it easier to submit to other men in their lives – their pastor/prophet, their boss, their father BUT not their husband (the one person God says she should be in everything). This ought not to be so.
I do understand that this may be challenging and quite difficult considering the fact that she has her own mind and can make her own judgement. But the deeper understanding that she is acting on God’s word and representing accordingly the ‘Christ-Church’ model will always ensure she receive blessings far beyond her imaginations. If you have an issue with the idea of submission in marriage, you will constantly have friction in the marriage especially when there are conflicts of interest.
I have always said that the scripture never said the husband is always right but rather in the face of a conflict, he ultimately decides what should be done as the head. A husband ought to be decisive and not be afraid to take decision. If the decision is made contrary to the wife’s suggestion her submission to God’s wisdom is seen in her submission to her husband.
A man shouldn’t take this for granted. neither should he use this in any way to abuse his wife, but rather be inspired to love his wife and make her feel more secured in his love. The topic of marriage is probably one that may still need alot of explanations on but I hope that somehow I might have been a blessing to someone. In everything lets remember that without his Holy Spirit, we would never truly experience God. Seek his guidance and fellowship and it will amaze you how beautiful marriage can be. It ought to be a blessing in every way cos it was God’s design