Shall two walk together, except they have agreed?…Amos 3:3 (ERV)
Almost no one likes the feeling of disagreement in anything they do. We often are prone to defending our position in the face of differing opinions especially when we are very convinced about such opinions. Well I can boldly say that marriage is one of those instances where disagreements may abound. There are often disagreements in different things…example finances, ways to raise a child, relationship with parents or other people, roles in relationship, physical intimacies, career paths and several other things.
In some marriages, the unfortunate thing is that the atmosphere of the relationship has been determined and influenced by the things they disagree on rather than the things they agree on. There seems to always be arguments and reactions based on disagreements and on the account that both parties are not willing to give in or give up their positions, the marriage suffers. They may win their position but sadly may be losing the joy of their marriage.
There is so much I wish to share on this subject of agreements/disagreements. I will like to express before making my points that whatever method works for you to resolve your disagreements should be consistently adopted. There are a lot of marriages that have worked how to deal with this, but if you are unsure what to do or how to handle disagreements and its impacting on you, then I will try to share some thoughts to hopefully help.
Firstly, the joys of marriages shouldn’t be centered around your disagreements. In Philippians 4:8, it talks about the things to focus on. Choose to talk about and focus on the things that you both agree on, focus on things that inspire both of you. Celebrate and revisit your places of victories and laughter. Quit focusing on the things that causes dissension and arguments.
Sometimes you just need to appreciate the fact that you are different in some things and be grateful for your differences. Differences shouldn’t halt us but rather should intrigue us to want to know something about the other party. Most times you don’t need to agree on the other’s opinion but rather understand and appreciate the fact that you are different. Life can go on if you aren’t stuck on your differences.
Secondly, God ordained the husband to be the head of the home. From God’s point of view, he is the head of the wife and means he should give directions on what should be done and the direction the family should be taken and this includes when there may be differing opinions. A husband should be decisive and not be weak in taking decisions. He is God’s representative in the decision making for the family.
A husband ought to be submissive to the leadership of God to take the right decision. In saying that, it is very possible that the wife may have a wiser option and should be allowed and encouraged to freely express them. A wise man doesn’t and shouldn’t have to stick to his own opinion but should prayerfully listen to God’s direction to make the right decision. In Genesis 21:12, God told Abraham to listen and do what his wife said. In Genesis 3:17, Adam was punished for listening to the voice of his wife. The bottom line is that things are easier when we are led by the spirit of God and not our motivation to have our own way.
In conclusion, I believe that prayerfully every disagreement can be resolved and through focus on the right things the joy of the marriage can be ensured. Remember, the most matured always sacrifice the most and sometimes love may require you to give up something for a more glorious marriage. God Bless You.