Ephesians 5:22 – Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord .
1st Peter 3:1 – Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;…
My sincere hope and prayer is to help anyone who may have a challenge in understanding the idea of submission in a godly marriage to scripturally have a good foundation and be empowered to enjoy their marriage. While I do understand that there may be many opinions on this subject, I hope to only address the bible’s standard on this subject.
A look at the scripture we notice that the wife was not always required to be under the authority of the husband. God had given the man a specific instruction to not eat of a tree in the garden. The woman based on her desire had acted contrary to the instruction. The husband chose to go along with her flow and they both ended up in trouble in the garden. The devil being smart had exploited the fact that no one ‘really’ was the head at the time and decided to test the woman who hadn’t heard directly from God (just a paraphrase).
God’s making of the man as the head over the woman after this incidence, was both a consequence of what happened and also a resolution to avoid the deceptive exploitation of the enemy. Please read carefully the order of events in Genesis 3:1-end taking notice of verse 16 and 17. There was a consequence on the man for listening to the wife and doing CONTRARY to what God had instructed the husband. On reading 1st Timothy 2:14, we also realize that Adam wasn’t deceived but gave in to disobeying God’s instruction (probably cos he considered the wife).
God’s reason for making the man the head over his wife was not because she was inferior to him in any form but rather because he wanted to make the marriage full proof from every deception of the enemy. The bible declares that two people cannot walk together in disagreement. A disagreement breeds an atmosphere for the enemy to exploit the love and peace within a home. Submission is a proven means by which disagreement should be resolved if both parties conflict on a matter. There is no need for submission if both agree on the same thing. The true proof of submission is in a conflict. Submission is the healing for disagreement and disunity in marriage.
In reality when a woman submits to a man, she is actually submitting to God who had designed that order. She truly can never be at a disadvantage for reverencing God’s word above her emotions. Submission does not equal stupidity, naiveness, careless, insecurity. If real men love their wives, then real women submit to their husbands. Its a service to God and should be done with joy. Jesus submitted to the will of the Father even though the people didn’t appreciate it at the time. The woman was sent as an angel to help her husband (as ridiculous as this may sound but yet true). She isn’t doing the husband a service, she is doing God a service.
Consider the scriptures below
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Genesis 2:18
And man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man…1st Corinthians 11:9
A wife is God’s gift, God’s help, God’s fashioned empowerment in a man’s life. She is a magnifier of his strength, an amplifier of his ability, she sees what he can’t see and hears the things he despises. She is specially made for him, she is a secret weapon of a man’s success. Wise men know and appreciate their wives, foolish ones regard them as a liability and live like they don’t need them. This is why the husband ought to study and recognize the potential in his wife to bring out the best in her. A woman when given attention to in a man’s life will perform miracles in his life. Every wife has in her something special adapted for her husband. The man should create a suitable environment for her to be able to present this something.
With all that a wife is, knows and have, God requires her to esteem her husband highly irrespective of his attitude as an act of submission and humility. That is part of her calling in marriage and she should do it with joy and not grudgingly that she may reap the fruits of this obedience. Some wives have unknowingly drawn the wrong consequences into their lives in form of sicknesses, failures, financial hardships etc due to rebelling to the law of God in their marriage. They have tried to go back to Eden by insisting on the equality in decision making ability. They desire to go back to the place that God has left by acting contrary or irrespective of what their husband says. This ought not to be so. If your husband doesn’t appreciate you, keep praying that his eyes may be opened to understand the ministry God has given to you in his life. I believe God can change any man, but please never take God’s place by withholding from your husband that which God has given you to him for. It is true that a wife’s actions may have a negative impact on him, but she will however loose out on the blessings for being disobedient to God.
God Bless You.